Are You Frustrated and Stressed Out About Homework Battles?

I can't tell you how many parents have told me that they hate the homework wars. They absolutely dread the nightly routine of fighting with their child to get them to do homework, and/or unfinished class work. And it's not all fun and games for the child either.  This is my advice and it works! Let your child do his own homework by himself.  That's it....  That really is it. You can set up parameters. Such as, set a timer for each subject.  I usually recommend asking the teacher how much time on average your child should be spending on a subject and then set the timer for that amount.  Then tell your child that they only have to work for that amount of time, but you must see them working hard for the whole time.  Whatever they get done, that's all they have to do.  You then write a note to the teacher telling them, 'My child worked diligently for 20 minutes (or whatever time) and this is what they were able to do.'  Now I also recommend that you have a conversation with the teacher ahead of time and tell them this is what you are planning to do.
 Also, give breaks in between assignments for other activities, usually 10 minutes is enough of a break, but you know your child best so use your judgment. Let your child go and do something that’s fun during the break.
Make sure the area where your child does their homework is well lit, quiet and free from distractions.  Let your child choose the order of subjects they want to do. Try to remember that education is about acquiring knowledge and skills and not about finishing 50 problems for math homework.  If your child can demonstrate a competency in an area by completing 10 or 20 problems within the allotted time, isn’t that the most important thing?
If you have a project or a large report to do, break down the tasks with your child and work on small parts every day. Read a portion of the book every day, taking notes or highlighting important facts, characters, and plot lines.  Do research and add those notes.  Write a rough draft.  Edit and produce a final copy. For a project, gather information and materials. Break down the tasks and do 1 or 2 parts each night till it’s done.  If you need more days to finish, this should be an accommodation on the IEP or 504 plans. These are strategies that children will use throughout their lives.
Stress and anxiety is a brick wall to learning.  If we can take those things out of the picture, children will have an easier time learning new things and retaining the information.  It’s important, as a parent, to protect a child’s emotional health. By providing these things and communicating to the teacher, you will enable your child to learn without all of the stress and anxiety.  You will find that these strategies work.
You will find that the homework battles will go away and you and the teacher will have a clear understanding of what your child is able to do independently.  This also alleviates the anxiety and stress involved when kids look at the amount of work they have and give up before they even begin.  If they know that they are not stuck for the night doing an endless amount of work, they actually get quite a bit done.  My son would even tell me when the time ran out, 'Mom, I only have a couple left. I can finish it.'  Confidence and self esteem return.  You can start to be a parent again instead of the mean homework warden.  Every single parent that I have recommended this to has reported back to me that it's such a difference for their whole family and the homework wars go away. Try it. What have you got to lose, except for the nightly stress?